Relationship woes and dating someone older

I have not really been lucky when it comes to starting a relationship. I just can't seem to get into one.

I have tried dating few ladies in the past but it was deemed a failure. The first time I actually fell in love or like a woman was back when I was 17. This person let's call her D for now. I actually met her when I was 12 we were tuition mates. Little did I know that she was a cousin of my best friend in school. I never got to meet D for a long time till I saw her again when I was 17. She was in the same tuition as me and so yeah I sort of got close to her. I did stuff for her and all you know to impress her. A few months of doing that I had assumed we were gonna be in a relationship soon and most of our friends had already assumed that we were an item. So I decided let's go and propose. I had it all planned to take her on a date then asked her to be my gf. Few days before that I found out something that shook me to the core. This woman that I thought was perfect for me turned out to be a slut messing with guys out there. Apparently she had toyed with other fellas like she did with me. I was heartbroken and was moved to tears, yes grown men do cry, and I had totally lost interest with the world. A few months later I was back to my normal self thanks to my pals who helped me go through the period of heartache.

Fast forward 2 years later in college I met another woman who had smitten me. This one , G, was different. She was smart, happy go lucky, cute and she just had this sort of energy or aura around her that just makes you feel energetic. Yeah I liked her did everything I could and in the end I found out she just used me all those time. Felt heartbroken at the time and I resolved myself to change and lets just use women.

I became a player for over a year. I slept with countless of women all of them were looking for a relationship and I just used them. After a while I realized what I was doing was wrong, yes cheap meaningless sex was wrong and it definitely hurt the people you had slept with. I don't know how many hearts I have broken in that period. I really felt sorry for my actions. I hope karma doesn't come and hunt me down. I moved to Australia 5 months back to complete my education. I live with my grandma here with some other relatives as well.

My grandma goes for her weekly prayers here and I have no choice but to follow her. At this place I met this wonderful girl that everyone would dream of. She's so amazing in my eyes. She has really good values in her, she does a lot of charities and you know she's a keeper. The only problem is that she was older. I still can't seem to keep my mind off her she's just that mesmerizing. Her eyes when you look into them you see paradise. After 3 months I actually had the guts to speak to her last weekend. We became friends on such short notice. I hope she is my soulmate. If this doesn't work out I got no idea what to do. I'm such a sad and lonely person. I really hope this works out.