friends in Australia

Currently in semester two of my course. In fact it just started last week. I'm already feeling the pressure of the new semester. Lots of assignments to do, home works, notes, tests and some unwanted pressure from idiots.
I have two close friends in uni. I used to have lots of friends back in my high school and college days but ironically this time round I only have two close friends. One is a Pakistani named Syed, unfortunately he postponed this sem as he has gone home and another is a Romanian born Italian woman, Anca.
The three of us were always together in sem 1 and currently only me and Anca in sem 2. The weird thing is we became close because of a bad habit of ours. Yes the three of us are smokers. And this is the reason why we became close. During the breaks in sem 1 I would usually exit the uni just to have some cigarettes. Fortunately I wasnt the only one, the other two also were in the same place as me.
We just gradually started talking to each other and slowly we became friends. We had our usual hang out times at the cafe nearby and we would talk about some interesting topics. Syed has been here since 2009 and this is the first time he is returning home. He is very good in accounting and scored the best in the whole faculty for accounting last sem.
Anca arrived in Melbourne around the same time as me. She initially was supposed to enroll earlier but due to some problems with the visa application she had to differ which is a blessing in disguise really. She is 32 years old. She had done a degree in language and she can speak in English, italian, Romanian, French and Japanese. She told me that she needed a new start in life and the job she had wasnt getting her anywhere. She packed her stuff and dragged her husband along with her to australia to pursue a second degree.
These two friends of mine really helped me through my toughest times here. I really am grateful for all their help. And me and Anca are slowly beginning to miss Syed. Only bad thing is we live so far away from each other. Only Syed and anca lives nearby but for them to get to me will take ages. I'm with anca right now smoking in the cafe as I write this out. Friends are always useful in our lives.

Potential problems

I like to over think stuff. Something petty can be made huge by my brains. I dont know why but it always happens. That's not all, most nights I dont go to sleep that fast, I would just lay there thinking about stuff and the worst case scenario is that I dont sleep at all that night.
Why am I telling you this?? Well I just figured a potential threat to our relationship, once we get together that is, due to me over thinking the circumstances. You see, I have stated before that I love my home and after completing my studies, I would definitely move back home. I dont plan to stay here, its not suitable for me and I just can't leave everything behind.
Likewise, R, she was born here in Australia. Her parents moved here from Sri Lanka and most of her family members are here as well. Naturally, being born here she has all her close friends and family members throughout her life. She is also the only child in the family.
So the thing is, there would be a potential conflict when the time I have completed my degree. I am pretty sure she, like me, is not gonna sacrifice everything here just to join me back home. Its not gonna happen and it ain't easy. Its gonna be a struggle if either of us do sacrifice something. The worst part is there can be no compromise to this. I can't come up with any to start with. I also thought that I dont one to be the guy who separates her from her family and friends.
See what my brains have done. This all happened in just five minutes of daydreaming. I'm just so lost thinking about this potential problem I have and I just can't stop thinking about it. It really is depressing in my point of view. I had no luck previously with relationships but just as I am about to establish one major problem arises.
Whatever it is, its still too early to tell since we aren't in a relationship yet (we are getting there). I am not sure if we would pull through but I have a grave feeling about this. Oy time will tell folks.

PS: we are going to the beach tommorow. More updates soon.

Hands that serve are more holier than lips that pray

I didn't have to go to uni today, my schedule is so awesome that I don't have classes on Fridays and Mondays for this semester, how cool is that?? It was a normal day for me, I just sit around relaxing. I watched the latest episode of How I met your mother. It was the episode where Barney meets the mother,  rejects his advances and give him some really good life advises that finally led to Barney coming up with "The Robin" which eventually led them to get married. The advise the mother gave was really a point to note as it helps young, lonely fellas like me.

Anyways moving on from that, I met up with my love, R, and she took me somewhere. I asked her where are we going but she kept saying to me that hands that serve are more holier than lips that pray. I didn't understand what she said but we just carried on till we reached the destination. Turns out that we were gonna help wrap up some food and deliver it to a church which is sending the food for people in the Philippines.

Most of you people out there should know by now that the Philippines is struck by a typhoon. There are many casualties and many people have lost their homes and valuables as well. Being a good Samaritan as always, R had decided to volunteer to collect these food and send it to the church and she had enlisted me to help her as well.

When we arrived, she grabbed my arm and hurried me to help the folks there. We packed some milk, pastas, canned foods and some biscuits in a basket, each basket for a pair of individual. We spent about 3 hours doing that and I think we had about 700 baskets to be delivered to the church. We had stored about 50 baskets in her car and we drove to the church which was 10 minutes away.

After delivering the goodies, we decided to have our dinner. We drove to an Italian restaurant nearby. I told her you're a really good person and she would definitely be blessed by god himself. She just said that if everyone decided to help each other, the world would be a better place. I was speechless, could you find a girl who thinks like this out there? There are but these kind of girls are a rarity.  Now you see folks, the reason why I'm madly in love with her? Its not about her looks or whatsoever, but its because she has a heart of gold.

I also found out one more thing that we have in common. Turns out she is a big fan of rap songs. I was like woaahhh you like rap?? And its not any kind of rap songs, its the 90's rap songs in other words old skool rap songs. She loved listening to NWA , Tupac Shakur and also Notorious B.I.G. She loves all the rappers that I love. Coincidence or destiny?? Judge for yourself. Lol.

It was a pleasure helping out today but I am tired as hell. She just dropped me off and I'm about to hit the sack. Goodnight folks for now.

Romantic times.

Hey everybody!! I have posted earlier about the girl that I am currently interested in, let's call her R. She is a magnificent person and I'm sure all you guys out there would say the same for your own lady love. I'm saying she's a magnificent person in my point of view. She has seriously good qualities in her that just ticks all my boxes.
I currently live in my late aunt's house and with my grandmother who had lived here for 20 over years. Being an ardent Sai devotee, my grandmother attend the bhajans (songs of gods sang by a group of ppl) held every week. It is in these bhajans that I first met R as I am obliged to accompany granny there every week. She was one of the earliest there  setting up the altar. Being a timid person, I did not have the guts to talk to her and the other folks there and instead I just kept to myself at a corner of the room.
I told myself to go and make new friends it would be fun but I was quiet all the while. She was dressed in traditional clothes which really mesmerized me. I kept looking at her. She is quite tall, I think about 176cm about 3 cm lesser than my height, she had nice long curly hair and she had nice brown skin tone. I thought that she was quite pretty.
As the weeks passed I saw her more frequently and I also found out that she lived in the same suburb as me.
I started developing feelings for her when I found out some of her activities she does. She is like an activist. She helps at orphanages, she has volunteered at the SPCA here, she has helped homeless people, she helps in soup kitchens, she frequently donates blood and many more volunteer work. I had always wanted to date a girl like this. One of the main thing is that she loves animals just like me. As soon as I found out about her activities I started falling head over heels for her. There's not many girls out there that does what she does.
A month later they had a morning prayer session in her house. I couldn't help myself so I decided to follow my granny there. Woke up about 4am and I had to drag myself to the car. When I entered her home, there were no sign of her, I thought maybe she ain't joining us today and I proceeded to the living room. The guests all arrived and her hall was filled with devotees. A while later I got excited as I saw her enter the hall and she had a sit right next to me. I was damn lucky that day. She was one of the singers at the prayer and my god her voice was so melodious and cute in some ways.
After the prayer ended, they had prepared breakfast for the devotees. I had my breakfast and I saw her just wandering around without anyone to talk to. I mustered all the courage I had and I started a conversation with her. As usual I introduced myself and all. I found out she was 22 and she is already doing her masters. I thought to myself that she must be a really smart woman. We had a pretty long conversation. I managed to obtain her contact number.
I immediately started texting her that night itself. I couldn't help myself I just had to do it. She is that type of girl that u wanna spend  your life with.
Those conversations turned into dates. Yes we are currently dating but we aren't in a relationship yet. The other day she had to go to this party so she asked me to tag along. I met some of her friends and apparently she is the only one in her gang of friends that is single. We had a good time that night especially when we danced. I felt that we were more intimate at that time. We left the party at about 3 am, she drove me home. As I was about to leave the car she gave me a hug and a peck on the cheek. She said thanked me for accompanying her. I couldn't sleep that night. I kept thinking about her and only her. I'm currently giving it more time, I dont know when I will confess to her. Only time will tell.

Homesick

Its been five months now since I left Malaysia!! I decided to complete my degree program in Melbourne, Australia although I had the choice of doing it locally. I thought if I did it overseas, my degree would have carried a higher value as the standards in Australia is higher.
Left my home for a so called better country. In financial and social terms, yes Australia is a good place to live in but if you're more laid back and you can't stand temperatures below 20°C then its not suitable for u. Many people here are more career oriented thanks to the influx of Asians migrating here. Everybody is looking to get ahead. Yes its good to be ahead but Australians are doing it the wrong way. They are living to work but the ideal way is to work to live. Get what I'm trying to say?? We dont live another day to work but work another to live, enjoy life.
I have about 19 more months to go and I can't wait to finish. Although 5 months went by, I still miss my home. Its just not the same. My lifestyle just took a drastic change. Back home I used to have time for my football sessions, my drinking sessions, my pool sessions, my gambling sessions and the most important, my mamak sessions. All that doesn't happen here. People dont play football, or soccer in their term, here as much as we do, there's no mamak restaurants and I got no friends who gamble or play pool. I sacrificed a lot coming here. I had some of my closest friends that I had to say goodbye to. It ain't easy, nothing is. Every night I'm thinking about home and almost everyday I'm counting my days here. I just love my country so much. In Malay they always say tanah tumpahnya darahku, the land where my blood is spilt. There's no place like Malaysia.
We all can agree Malaysia is a cool place even though its run by fools. People may say there's lots of racial issues and all but I say fuck them. Its those fucking politicians that brainwashes us. I have seen Malays and chinese old men speaking fluently in Tamil which puts me to shame as my command of the language ain't as good as theirs and how do u say that they are not united. My dad can even speak in chinese. He gets well with all of them. I have seen all 3 races together hangin out and just chilling.
This is why I love my country so much. We are united and we are very passionate. I can't see myself living in another country. I have too many stuff I love back home and I just can't sacrifice it. In Australia u get paid well but cost of living is high and you dont save as much. In Malaysia, although costs are rising, its still considerably low and professionals still do get paid well, there's a chance for you to save more. I think I have a perfectly good reason to leave and get back home once I'm done. Till then I need to stay strong. Everyday is a struggle, I just need to hang on. This it for now. Stay tuned for more posts. Comments are very much appreciated.

P-s: I'm sorry if I had made you upset by some of comments here. Thanks for reading folks!!!

Finding God

Alright folks, I dont know where to start, a very sensitive issue indeed. Some may not like what I have done here but just deal with me.
Born as a Hindu I was so fascinated by the way we worship God. We do it in many different ways. From chanting mantras, to being a vegan, fasting, taking the kavadi, etc. I as a Hindu previously have taken part in most of the ways mention except the kavadi. I found all those ways very effective. I bet you would be asking why did leave Hinduism. Well the reason was this, I had purchased many factual science books most of them associated with the beginning of the universe. As I kept on reading those books, my spiritual connection to god started to drift away. I had started to doubt if god really exists. That one fine day I had realized I dont believe in god anymore and he was just a symbol for hope that was created by mankind.
Several years of being an atheist had really affected me. I had no faith in anything, I was always depressed and I kept looking for science for the answer. I believed science has all the answers and scientists are discovering ways to improve our lives. I could not find any solutions to my depression problems until one day a very close friend of mine who was also a senior in high school guided me and showed me the way to god. He was a christian and he told me to read the bible it will help you, it will show you how God is great. I did as I was told and true enough I had found god again. All my prayers were answered, I'm no longer depressed.
Now comes the fun part, my family members are really strong devotees of Sathya Sai Baba. They attend the weekly prayers conducted by devotees. I decided to attend the prayers one day and I was surprise to find that there were many statues of God not only from Hinduism but also from most of the major religion. I was shocked to even find other races seated in the prayer room as well. They were even singing songs to the other religions and stuff.
That experience was a real eye opener. I started to think again. I concluded that yes there is god out there but since all of the religions originated from different parts of the world, the way they see god or the name they give to god is different. God is one and he is the supreme power of the universe.
So, if people come and ask me now what religion are you, my answer would be I'm a follower of God. If I was asked to read the bible and conduct services in church, I would do it. If I was asked to fast for the Muslim holy month of ramadhan and also read the Quran, I would do it. If you ask me to read the guru grant sahib from Sikhism I would do it. I'm a follower of God. Allah Malek. (God is one)

Relationship woes and dating someone older

I have not really been lucky when it comes to starting a relationship. I just can't seem to get into one.

I have tried dating few ladies in the past but it was deemed a failure. The first time I actually fell in love or like a woman was back when I was 17. This person let's call her D for now. I actually met her when I was 12 we were tuition mates. Little did I know that she was a cousin of my best friend in school. I never got to meet D for a long time till I saw her again when I was 17. She was in the same tuition as me and so yeah I sort of got close to her. I did stuff for her and all you know to impress her. A few months of doing that I had assumed we were gonna be in a relationship soon and most of our friends had already assumed that we were an item. So I decided let's go and propose. I had it all planned to take her on a date then asked her to be my gf. Few days before that I found out something that shook me to the core. This woman that I thought was perfect for me turned out to be a slut messing with guys out there. Apparently she had toyed with other fellas like she did with me. I was heartbroken and was moved to tears, yes grown men do cry, and I had totally lost interest with the world. A few months later I was back to my normal self thanks to my pals who helped me go through the period of heartache.

Fast forward 2 years later in college I met another woman who had smitten me. This one , G, was different. She was smart, happy go lucky, cute and she just had this sort of energy or aura around her that just makes you feel energetic. Yeah I liked her did everything I could and in the end I found out she just used me all those time. Felt heartbroken at the time and I resolved myself to change and lets just use women.

I became a player for over a year. I slept with countless of women all of them were looking for a relationship and I just used them. After a while I realized what I was doing was wrong, yes cheap meaningless sex was wrong and it definitely hurt the people you had slept with. I don't know how many hearts I have broken in that period. I really felt sorry for my actions. I hope karma doesn't come and hunt me down. I moved to Australia 5 months back to complete my education. I live with my grandma here with some other relatives as well.

My grandma goes for her weekly prayers here and I have no choice but to follow her. At this place I met this wonderful girl that everyone would dream of. She's so amazing in my eyes. She has really good values in her, she does a lot of charities and you know she's a keeper. The only problem is that she was older. I still can't seem to keep my mind off her she's just that mesmerizing. Her eyes when you look into them you see paradise. After 3 months I actually had the guts to speak to her last weekend. We became friends on such short notice. I hope she is my soulmate. If this doesn't work out I got no idea what to do. I'm such a sad and lonely person. I really hope this works out.